Randall Landers
Outside of Star Trek, I have several other interests, including the NFL, Braves baseball, NASCAR racing, Godzilla and other kaiju, science fiction and movies..."bad" science fiction movies, in particular. I peruse the channel guide on our satellite to find these films. On any given night, there's usually one or more for me to enjoy. It might be the underrated "The Flesh Eaters" or even "Frankenstein VS the Space Monster," but I sit back and enjoy them.
Recently, while scouring the Internet for a particularly bad movie I was looking for, I came across Jabootu's Bad Movie Dimension website. On it, was his "Glossary of Specialized Terms" which contained a number of plot devices that bad movies often resort to. Sadly, I noticed that the same glossary could be modified and applied to any number of Star Trek stories I've read and/or edited over the years, and I thought I'd share some of them with you, even though I can't take credit for any of these.
These are things that should be avoided, and potential contributors would do well to look through these to see if they can be applied to their stories:
Antimatter GrenadeCanon/Continuity
Error-Prone Writers' Credo
"Come on, these dummies (i.e. your readers) cant remember what they saw/read in
that episode/story!" Uh, yes, they can, and your story needs to make sure it doesn't
ignore canon or continuity.
EXAMPLE: The writers, producers and staff behind
"Spock's Brain" couldn't remember whether they were on Sigma Draconis VI or VII.
The Coincidence Story
In order for the story to take place, there must be an amazing series of coincidences. In
other words, if it weren't for an amazing happenstance, none of this would have ever
happened. The 2009 Star Trek movie is the biggest offender in this arena.
Deus Ex Machina
The resolving of some improbable glitch in the plot line by some sort of
gadget/alien/starship whipped up out of nowhere, one that is not foreshadowed in the
story, and just pops up when needed to save the day.
Heros Death Battle
Exemption
This rule stipulates that a monster/alien/murderer will have to spend at least ten times
the amount of time and effort killing a hero/heroine (or his/her significant other) than
anyone else in the story.
EXAMPLES: In Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets,
the basilisk makes short work of everyone. Not all that unbelievable since if you look in
its eyes, you turn to stone. Yet this immense monster (and it was huge) cannot manage to
stop a teenaged boy who doesn't even have his magic wand. You can also argue the same is
true for Ripley in both Alien and Aliens.
Hidden Knowledge
The resolving of an impossible conundrum by some sort of factoid/bit of knowledge that is
not foreshadowed in the story, and that only one character possesses who reveals it just
in the nick of time.
EXAMPLE: One of the worst examples of
this is in Evil Under the Sun wherein Hercules Poirot reveals a previously
unknown bit of knowledge in order to prove the villains were in fact murderers.
The Idiot Story
In order for the story to take place, a major character or several major
characters must each act like an idiot. In other words, if the hero or heroes have any
sense at all, none of this would have ever happened.
EXAMPLE: Several characters are trapped on a planet's surface until
daybreak. One character is known or discovered to be a murdering monster. Knowing this,
all the characters decide to split up rather than stay together as a group. Voila! An
idiot story.
Informed Attributes
When a character displays a mediocre or even inept level of skill in some discipline
(anything from dancing to writing to fighting), yet we are shown other characters lauding
their talents. This is to signal the reader that, at least in the universe presented in
the story, these people are to be considered as highly proficient at their craft. This is
one of the key characteristics of the "Mary Sue."
Monster Death Trap Proviso
This stipulates that any stratagem to destroy a monster, once it has failed, may not be
attempted again, even if it only failed because of some bizarre fluke. Nor can the same
plan be refined and tried again. Instead, a completely different plan must be formulated. Norman Spinrad managed to avoid this in "The
Doomsday Machine" when Kirk models his stratagem based on Commodore Decker's failed
attempt.
Out-of-Sight, Out-of-Mind
The inability of the characters in a story to realize that just because they can no longer
see the monster or hostile alien that they're still in terrible danger. Usually,
"out-of-sight, out-of-mind" leads to either an attempt at a "comedic"
scene or a sex scene between characters, one of whom will probably say, "I'm
scared."
Out-of-Sight Teleportation
The ability that allows a monster to materialize anywhere it pleases once the intended
victim loses sight of it.
Only Ship in the
Quadrant Fallacy
It's a big galaxy, to be sure, but to claim that, while en route to a star
system within a few hundred lightyears of Sol, there are "no other ships in the
quadrant" is just plain silly. There are always ships available; they may not be
suitable for the mission.
EXAMPLE: Star Trek II: The Wrath of
Khan. At least they made fun of this very fallacy in Star Trek V: The Final
Frontier.
Rule of Plot Holes
This rule stipulates that if a reader is forced to construct (or attempt to
construct) an elaborate framework of suppositions in order to cover over some hole in a
storys plot, then the writers and editors havent been doing their job.
Spring-Loaded Tribble Cliché
The ubiquitous kitty that invariably jet propels itself out of closets and
cabinets during a story, creating a false scare.
EXAMPLES: The mean ol' kitty in "The
Wreck of the Aurora Borealis" and another in "Encounters
and Countermoves." It's dramatic, but needs to be kept to a minimum.
The Stealth Monster Rule
This provides that any monster, no matter how gigantic, awkward or noisy, will be able to
sneak up right behind victims at will.
Villain Exposition Rule
Convention that dictates that a supervillain isnt allowed to kill the hero until he
has meticulously revealed his master plan, including vital data regarding time elements
and such. Traditionally, this takes so much time that the villain must leave before
personally seeing to it that the hero is taken care of. Inevitably, his goofball
assistants then mess up the job, allowing to hero to exploit his newly gained knowledge
and disrupt the villains plan. In reality, true villains don't take time to explain
their villainy to their victims.
EXAMPLES: Practically any James Bond
movie, but it even happens in "Mark of Gideon" and to some extent "A Taste
of Armageddon." in Star Trek, usually Spock rushes in to save the day only
to find that Captain Kirk has already taken control of the situation.
Vulcans Are Immune
Concept
Time and time again, Spock and other Vulcans manage to get a reprieve from certain death
because Vulcans are simply superior physically in some way or another to all other
Federation races.
EXAMPLES: Too numerous to mention, but the salt & cloud
vampires not liking Spock's blood, the nictitating membranes in his eyes, etc.
Wandering Monster
This is any time a monster or alien or some other hostile lifeform wanders around killing
characters. It kills, wanders around, kills someone else, wanders around, kills another
person or two (usually while they're having sex), wanders around, kills again, and so on ad
nauseum.
EXAMPLE: The salt vampire from "Man Trap" is probably the finest
Star Trek example of the wandering monster.
Many of the stories we review for consideration for publication often have these traits. Read through yours and make sure it doesn't use these plot devices. And if you see one missing, be sure and let us know!

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